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External Articles | Posted: September 5, 2010

Legalized Child Abuse in Germany: Sex and the preschool child

(Source: PrisonPlanet Forum) It's every parents nightmare- your 4 year old daughter's preschool teacher calls and says "Hi, we just needed to let you know an older child took your daughter to the Cozy Corner today, and when we found them he'd stripped himself and removed your daughter's panties and was fondling her."

But in some countries the conversation might continue a little differently. "Your daughter appeared a little tearful and said loudly in front of all the children (who had gathered around by then) that she didn't want to "touch his gross penis", so we asked him to stop. We talked about her inappropriate choice of words and how that could hurt his feelings, discussed how it feels good to be touched vaginally, reminded her that she is allowed to say no and made sure they both had a positive self image about the exploration. The other children had gathered up by then, so we were able to use it as a teaching moment. You might want to work with your daughter- she seemed very reluctant both to be naked and also showed a refusal to engage in the sexual play appropriate for her age when presented with the opportunity."

Would you call the police? Not in Germany! Extreme child sexualization is gathering speed across Europe- where sex ed begins as young as pre-school in some countries. This sex-ed isn't the version Americans traditionally think of-featuring birth control education and explanations of the reproductive system.

Germany's non-optional curriculum includes helpful songs to teach your preschooler not to be afraid to masturbate. In addition, in one government brochure (finally recalled and condemned by at least some leaders after years of availability) fathers were encouraged to give their daughter's vagina pet names like "honey pot" and not to neglect the caressing of vagina and clitoris which for some reason were neglected in daily care, leading to a loss of sexual pride in the daughter, according to this brochure "Booklets from a subsidiary of the German government's Ministry for Family Affairs encourage parents to sexually massage their children as young as 1 to 3 years of age. Two 40-page booklets entitled "Love, Body and Playing Doctor" by the German Federal Health Education Center (Bundeszentrale für gesundheitliche Aufklärung - BZgA) are aimed at parents - the first addressing children from 1-3 and the other children from 4-6 years of age.

"Fathers do not devote enough attention to the clitoris and vagina of their daughters. Their caresses too seldom pertain to these regions, while this is the only way the girls can develop a sense of pride in their sex," reads the booklet regarding 1-3 year olds. The authors rationalize, "The child touches all parts of their father's body, sometimes arousing him. The father should do the same."

Another product of the BZgA is a song book aimed at children of four and slightly older which includes several songs espousing masturbation. The song-book entitled "Nose, belly and bum" includes one song with the following lyrics: "When I touch my body, I discover what I have. I have a vagina, because I am a girl. Vagina is not only for peeing. When I touch it, I feel a pleasant tingle." (I took this from lifesite who had a translation available-again, this brochure's been pulled- finally. It's still available free online on different websites)

The songs are still available for pdf download on the main government sex ed website, along with an incredible play for preschoolers to age six featuring a hairy blue phallic bear and the fairy who was afraid to touch him because something bad might happen. Don't worry- she touches him.

While the current German sex ed guide for Kindergarteners doesn't explicitly say families should get in on the action, it does identify infants as sexual beings and makes it painfully clear that children in day care or kindergarten should be allowed to experiment with sex in the doll corner, encouraged to masturbate without limits- presumably even the limit of "in private" is too much- and expected to ask questions traditionally associated with pre-teens in the US- unless they've been "repressed" by their parents.

The official BZgA government brochure states: " ...we must not lose sight of the fact that some children between the ages of three and six do not have an unconstrained relationship with sexuality. This is expressed in insecurity,inhibitions and anxiety about nakedness and body contact. The underlying reasons can be rooted in family socialisation. Children are quick to realise that the genital area is to be shut out. They sense reticence in their parents, even when it is communicated non-verbally. Children can respond by repressing sexuality or only by pursuing their sexual needs secretly for fear of being found out."

The thinking is clear here. If you're not on board with teaching very young children about sex,  or ignore their genitals and don't allow unlimited masturbation, you're a fundamentalist repressive dinosaur. Your child will grow up with a complex. One wonders what the alternative is- admiring and/or touching the child's genitalia? Isn't that pedophilia? What are we recommending here?

Why aren't the parents doing anything? They tried and found their hands are tied because their government ratified the Convention of the Rights of the Child, the positive- sounding UN amendment that unfortunately appears to take away the rights of parents and give governments that sign ultimate say in matters relating to child-raising and education. When the parents try to protest this, they're told their children have a "right of education". Some in Germany have gone to jail rather than subject their children to this "right".

Here's the BZgA's take on the parent's objections to the forced kindergarten sex-ed curriculum:

"Parent-teacher evenings on sex education facilitate the work of teachers in kindergarten. And if parents occasionally have a guarded reaction to the subject or voice the opinion that their child is too young for sex education, these statements should not be prematurely dismissed, but rather taken as an opportunity to initiate a discussion with parents about the importance of child sexuality. Parental insecurities often mask the question of whether their child's sexual behaviour is "normal". The parent-teacher evening can thus be used to address the diverse questions, anxieties and insecurities of parents..."

Isn't that nice? If you don't think it's appropriate for the teachers to allow your kindergartener to be taken to the doll corner by another child to play doctor while children look on, it's because you're secretly afraid your kiddo's a deviant. Don't worry- the teachers will help you get up to speed and overcome your own issues.

Or this discussion on appropriate teacher/child boundaries (note the problem here is the behind-the-times-parent- not the teacher.)

"A teacher is approached by a mother: "My child told me that you showered together with the children yesterday after taking a walk with them in the rain, and that you took turns soaping each other up? What were you thinking?"

They ran into a problem, though. For some reason, more and more families starting pulling these undersexed children from the public schools and teaching them at home. Hmm, wonder why?

The response? Germany declared that homeschoolers were a parallel society and that homeschooling was now banned. Sweden- where sex ed starts at age six- followed Germany. Swiss parents were given the same booklet, but complained. Then things took a strange twist.

Suddenly anti-homeschool articles started appearing in the UK. Parents watched, wondering, as a formerly friendly and curious media turned nasty. Article after article of  heartbreaking accusations of abuse in homeschool situations- though the children written about were fostering violations or otherwise known to social services, not the "hidden abused forced-marriage homeschooled child" they kept trying to portray through slant.

Since only 38% home educate for religious reasons and many are very liberal, it was hard to get the "weird cult" label to stick. They kept hammering, though, using "we" as often as possible in articles, as though the whole country was sure homeschoolers were a squirrely bunch in need of intensive monitoring. They also failed to point out that if abusers were hiding behind homeschooling (as they liked to insinuate) keeping children in the attic hidden away or something, they sure wouldn't bring them out to register with any agency. Or that such legislation could shortchange the known abused children they were already trying to monitor.

But, slowly public sentiment changed. Suddenly there was a debate. Parliment introduced a bill . This bill would create a year of mandatory government-prescribed sex ed (forced into even in the private religious schools) but would also in the same bill give the government the ability to overturn the current homeschool law and go around traditional citizen protections by citing the "Rights of the Child" treaty.

If it passed, it would mean the home educated families would be forced to allow local authorities access to private homes without cause, as if they were sex offenders in need of monitoring. It would also allow interviews of young children alone without a parent present. If the children won't (or aren't able) to perform for the interviewer, the parents are helpless to prevent local authorities forcing a return to traditional school for a variety of reasons, many ill-defined. The citizens of the UK protested, creating a record-breaking response to the legislation. It was debated this week in Parliament. It still may pass, though it looks like a long shot.

The anti-homeschool articles have now started in the US. In the last two months the articles have picked up, trying to paint American homeschoolers as a lot of backwards hicks who overprotect their pale children and indoctrinate them into cult-like lives. While it's so far from reality that it's laughable- especially considering the diversity of America's homeschoolers and their reasons for homeschooling (most providing an alternate teaching style for a child who doesn't learn well in traditional classes)-  it's an indication of the direction we're headed.

In the other countries, home education seems to be the option that closes before bringing in state-run sex-ed. It's a matter of checks and balances. If home education is an option, people will of course leave the schools if the sex-ed is abusive, and schools will alter things accordingly to woo the children back. But, If home education has so many rules that it becomes a heavily legislated second public school and a non-option, there will be no leverage for parents of any political leaning.

The US signed the Convention of the Rights of the Child while Clinton was president, but thankfully never ratified. We are the last UN country that's held out against it, and have the advantage of watching the international effects on the welfare of children. It wouldn't help our children- it's indirectly led to abuse.

Both the situation in Germany and in the UK show the CRC can be used wrongfully to render parents- who are usually a child's strongest advocates- helpless to combat abuse or mishandling of the children. When a kindergarten teacher can shower and soap up with your child against your will and with the blessing of the educational system, something has gone horribly wrong.